How to Gain Center of Attention
Alright, you are in an large and loud environment surrounded by people. Unfortunately, nobody
has noticed you. Well, you have a problem, you're trying to be noticed. So I
got some tips for you. Here we go.
First: Well, you gotta get noticed, and a good way to be noticed is
to greet someone. So this is what you do, you go up to somebody and pat him/her on the butt.
You'll be guaranteed to get noticed.
Second: Pick a fight with the biggest guy arround. After you get beat up, you'll get a lot
of attention. When someone finds you half-dead on the floor, that person is guaranteed to get you
some medical attention.
Third: Start singing, "I'm a Barbie Girl!!!"
Fourth: Well, here's one my personal favorites. Drop your pants!!!
Fifth: If all else fails, just strip naked and go crazy.
WARNING: DO NOT follow my tips.
If you do, you're screwed, you hear me, SCREWED.
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